Author Raven West

BFF should be BFFN

According to Wikipedia, the term “Best Friends Forever (BFF) originated “In a 1997 episode of Friends (S3 E25) by the character Phoebe used the term BFF and had to explain to the rest of the gang that it means “best friends forever”.

(Understand that there was NO real Phoebe and that the term was, in fact, created by the writer Adam Chase who NEVER received any credit for the term, until this column!)

Since that showed aired, the letters BFF have been widely used to sell various jewelry items, cards, stickers, etc., usually by teenage girls. You may have used this method at some point, and at some other point years later, changed your mind.

Television, movies and other fiction outlets LOVE to promote the idea of a group of BFFs. Most famously Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte of “Sex in the City fame. We all loved watching these four fake best friends even though, in reality, they were far from friendly.

In reality, people change. Relationships formed in elementary school rarely last through middle school. The same can be said through high school and college. As much as we’d like to believe in the fantasy of a BFF, I much prefer the more realistic acronym BFFN… BEST FRIENDS FOR NOW.  Adding that one letter, takes a great deal of stress off trying to maintain a friendship. BFFN also relieves the obligatory invitation to parties you no longer wish to invite, or be invited to, phone calls you have nothing to say and don’t really care to share, as well as all the rest of the ANTI-social media sites.

BBFN gives you the freedom to DELETE when the relationship ends. This was a ritual I recently had the pleasure to perform.

One very good friend of more than 40 years “found Jesus” and every conversation we had since was uncomfortable for me, being Jewish. DELETE. Another one, over 50 years went way too political – told me I wasted my vote because I’m a Libertarian. DELETE. When I called another friend I’ve known since high school, all she did was complain about how terrible her life was. DELTETE!

People change. Life takes us in different directions and FOREVER isn’t as long, or as difficult to maintain if we all just added an “N”.

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